I still listen to the same song, I bought 2 Redbulls using CDC and 1 Hot & Spicy Potato Chips, it's $4.80 just like that, I shouldn't have smoke maybe, I wonder if I can quit smoking.
I imagine doctor saying I would read Yassin every morning, what is my feeling? To believe a Surah is having a power that can grant wishes? I definitely would try, I remember I tried like 41 Al-Fatihah and drinking water, then still tak Kabul, why should I try Yassin 41 times in a day? It's going to be a whole day or not?
The feelings of who we want, the Surah are not puppeteer of their feelings, to change it, I really don't know what to do, it's just a hot feeling of anger, sadness, I feel useless and weak.
It's 1mth+ to go until I'm 38 years old, I really have lost so much in life, then they really let it happen instead of preventing sadness in my life, I wonder why it's like that?
My previous post only have 5 viewers, I don't know if my post becomes important for someone to read or not, are all important? Why are my feelings like this? The song really energize me to keep trying, "aku coba hari2 sampai mimpi jadi nyata", I really want to become a Psychologist, someone strong and good mentally, someone psychic to get the girl I want(Sakinah), what if she got married and had sex then even psychic powers I wanted to get to have her, can't make me happy, will I be too late once I become a psychic? I really don't know why she make me chase her instead of giving me energy to become stronger person in life like easy to work etc. It's sad the strength of my life is not working for me(Sakinah didn't effort anything for me), I remember about Ustaz Somad that "kalau jodoh pun perlu usaha" then I really tried my best then there can't be any more best than this, I'm the best lover of her heart and everything about her, but story of God just needed to sound like God can give me the girl, it's really sad they made me berangan for so long.
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