Since they gave up

I think it's too long and I'm left thinking of the past, I think to just give up too and end this pain of waiting and wondering if they will become my wife, any of them, I think to just masturb*te on Shahridah's Cousin and Wahdiah's Sister, their pictures maybe, I really don't know, I think it's the end and I became insane again. Then last to go is Sakinah's family members, I feel it's too long yet they feel it's nothing, I'm maybe just an entertainer to someone's life like "o anas love me until like that", haha, I don't know why an insane person have so many adopted family members, it don't make sense the imagination or definition of family is a lot of care but none take any actions for me and I'm left to struggle and into pain.

The viewers only 3 last post making me give up and feel like stopping blog, but I feel like my future children should read and know what their father's feelings are like, like why their father is insane, those girls name are the cause of insanity, maybe it's out of shame, anger mixed then I became crazy, I really see no recovery happening for me now it's almost 1 year then I feel like this. They lost me by time limit and too dramatic schizophrenic care.