Today I dreamt something about getting money, money being pushed under the door and pulled back, about ways to gain money, it's really not a fun dream. Dream of gaming as an archer and fighting for something, in a 2 player cooperative mode.
It feels like my days to become someone new is close, it's maybe after 11th May because it's when the medicine changes I think, I noticed that I kept using "it's really" in my blog writing and I plan to change it but I don't know how, maybe my English is bad after all. I realized that my new Simba as being renewed, it's $20 left means 2 times topup left after this month, the painful days are ending as I will be getting money in August, it would really be nice feelings as I would start like not spending money on expensive things at all like I spent on Bicycle and RG477V, it really finished my money quickly then this time it's something new feelings I guess, like I can last longer in life.
I really hear voices most of the time, I wonder why schizophrenia is like that, then I don't know how medicine helps but it does in not feeling too much impacted by the sentences said by the voices, usually brings heartache.
I wonder when's the feeling of a nice learning journey for O level next year, it feels like the feelings will come and I will feel good learning all the way that day onwards, I really want to be a changed man, but it feels hard anyway, need the momentum or self-motivation to start my learning phase of life, I really don't feel like anything for now, because I feel like I will take driving license this year, I really don't know. Next month I will discover I guess, then it's a new life starting for me.
Now is 7.51a.m just by writing this the time passes really quickly. I am going to shower now and will write again soon I guess.
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