Gone to I.M.H appointment

Today I am 1 week earlier for injection then still the same medicine until 31st August(maybe it will continue the same), it made me happy how actually it's just monthly injection it means they didn't set me up to be warded in June, so it's a happy feeling for me.

Today inside bus I remembered about doctor saying my 2nd sister will also experience schizophrenia and will memory-loss then her ex-husband will appear then they go to eat together because she memory-loss, she forgot her Egyptian husband on that day, I wonder if it's the same like doctor knowing she will marry an Egyptian when Dina was still a baby, how did her ex-husband appear on that day I didn't ask doctor, they will chat normally like she's still married to her ex-husband, something like that doctor said.

I wonder when is my family's schizophrenia, because I think they will sue Alysha if they experience schizophrenia, because they will understand me immediately, the mental illness exist a physical pain that's like hot heat in the heart, it's really painful, then maybe my family will imagine I experience such pain for over 20 years then will sue Alysha because finally after so many years they then start to pity me. It's really weird a mental sickness have physical pain, it's unbelievable but like my 2nd sister will still want to understand it as mental sickness, she don't believe that pain exist during my schizophrenic moment, it's really harsh, the pain is usually heartache and boiling anger, then I assume she will want me to be treated more if talk to her, she don't understand that schizophrenia fear the treatment because of fear of being warded or tied at bed or chair, it ever happened to me I was tied at chair and bed before, I feel someone like me not cared by Wahdiah and Shahridah in the end won't marry them? But I really don't know what will happen, they really don't care about me sadly.

I hope doctor tell me their state of mind because what makes them okay to leave me for more than 10 years? It's really crazy they probably had moved on and have a guy already or secretly, it's really a bad life I'm having and they are happy with their life, it's so unfair, but doctor don't talk to me stuff anymore, it's really sad my schizophrenia then nobody gives nice information or story about my future.