Jobless year

I think it's the end of my life, I'm jobless the entire remaining months this year, I really can't become a normal person and find a job, my resume sucks and I don't have it written at all, I really have no hope at all for my future, I became a useless person while others grow up into a stronger person, I'm so unlucky so many times in life and my life is still pathetic, I really don't know what to do and why I kept searching for dishwasher jobs only, I really feel like I will become nothing anymore, it's August my happy day then like the usual just spend on government's money and wait for next year.

I receive no support from anyone, there will be no growth of intelligence this year probably, and I just become a waiting man for luck in life, the luck needed is August I will still be fine, it's so bad my life then I will live up my life again at that month, this kind of life is crazy but I live a crazy lifestyle, everyday the same sofa and nothing to do anywhere, tomorrow is the same countdown again and write something to feel better, I hope my life is a nightmare that I will wake up from 1 day, it's really sad I can't handle the future imagination of a lot of bad life, it's impossible someone like me will become so good, I'm just remaining unstable and finding a dishwasher job for the rest of my life, nobody is paying for my pleasure in life except government's money, government is my only hope. I probably will try to become a soldier next year because not taking O level maybe, have no news about it, like it's not going to happen.

I imagine myself living and growing by myself, then just growing old like karang guni because I am a nobody in the end, my ambitions all won't come true, as I'm weak I can't become a soldier, its really sad my family let me dream die off, then I can't get Sakinah because my parents don't want to effort personally, even trying for my insanity saying like she's maybe married and have children already, my mother's mouth is so stupid, I really feel my 2nd sister's ex-husband is right that they don't know how to care their children, I'm so lucky there's no better mother or father for me, but living life in suffering without any growth in intelligence, don't know why I have so much data for, because I won't be living my life, just surviving everytime and every government's money to pay up to 1 year of my phone bills.