My recovery age in 1 mth+

I really hope I totally recover, it's really hard like this, I don't know why it's taking so long, why I still hear voices, it's really bad, I wonder why my luck is like this, my neighbours are fine for so many years, but they don't have doctors visiting them like me, I wish doctors visit them so I can ask psychic questions, if paramedic visit will take into I.M.H, it's really the scary feeling, it's like a torture then looking at my family members like muka selambe tak kisah masok I.M.H, it's really bad then nobody speak up for me, I don't know why they're all so heartless, I'm imagining another 1.5mths were to happen on 29th June, it really sucks, I think the fear feeling are all from the lack of cigarette but it probably will go away, it's really bad don't understand why this treatment as something doctor won't be alarmed about, means he don't S.O.S but I live life like this daily instead, everytime doctor visit is like a feeling of an S.O.S arrive then he no longer do that to me, making me endure all the pain by myself.

I wonder why my heart's in pain, uneasy, loss of comfort, there's no one to talk to most probably, people seeing the side of schizophrenia I became, it's really like an evil treatment to be cashless and daily let thinking like "work = money" then my schizophrenia? People treat me like a normal behaviour people, like attitude problem most probably, as I hear voices now like that, I don't know why it's not gone the voices, maybe I walked too much today.