Negative memory

Boring my memories of life are negative matters, I want to remember something more and it takes like 24hours at least to start remembering something new, it's almost 1 year by calculation yet it still feels like a few months or days only, life is so fast like I have to understand like I won't receive any help at all.

I feel bored everyday, like a bipolar disorder I kept telling the same things over and over again, there's nothing comforting more than writing something, it's bad like my only solution in life is to end up becoming a blogger, it's really hard life experience. I really don't know what to do in my life, I hear common sense voice of my 2nd sister "kerje la", then it pains me like I've been poisoned by them, the voices are like poisons to my heart, like I dont know common sense but I hear it over and over again. I had schizophrenia for so many years yet this is their best care to me, I feel dumb like an idiotic person. In the morning I don't even remember if I take medicine double the amount of the correct amount, loss memory when I woke up at 8+a.m is really bad.

I feel bad maybe I overdose of medicine by 2 extra pills. It sucks, I really don't remember.