Seeing things

Experience seeing 2 features of a man with the eyes terjojol, don't know why schizophrenia is like this, I really take my medicine daily but it's like this.

My heart daily cries for help from the bad feelings due to schizophrenia just wanting to be stable.

I remembered about doctor saying I will work dishwasher manual washing red plates, or it's "won't" I really don't remember I'm 21 years old at that time I think, this makes my memory as good but I don't know when I will remember about it, it seems like I always remember about saving $5K+ this year by story of doctor, like I can't forget the next job is maybe causing it, I really don't know.