Trying my best

Still trying hard to remember what doctor told me about my job this year, it's like I won't get a job at all, I really don't know, maybe it's just ideas or plan to do about the 5K savings envelope? Why/How would I save $5K+ if I don't have a job? It's already May and I still don't have a fixed job.

I really can't think well, right now I am experiencing dark vision due to walking too much yesterday, it's supposed to make a healthy heart but the outcome is always the same, I really don't know why my eyes are like this. Just now I walk around in my house for awhile then I go out and experience it, I don't know until now why it's like this.

I have been searching for jobs that's dishwasher but none is attractive to apply, at Facebook becomes difficult to apply then I am jobless for my entire year most probably, then suddenly next year taking my O level, I really feel unhealthy anyway, today I have smoked storm king until it's finished then I didn't buy more cigarette because I goal it's the end this time, because of having my new white bag, I really plan to feel a new life too, I hope it works.

I have $159 left in my wallet and $208 in bank, I really don't know if I will survive nicely until August but I have to understand life without support of my parents, been so many years yet they're still the same, there's no improvement of care to me at all, the pain is real, even my mother may cause me heartache in her way of talking, I'm still unlucky in life, maybe my life will never change, maybe I won't take O level next year.