I feel mentally unstable thinking of money, it's like I will become insane for real, it's like school is the only path for money, it's really sad and they pushed for me to become difficult in life than just let me try for freedom like going out to search for Sakinah, I became saving up my money slowly instead and living a hard life becoming older in age, it's like a permanent anger in my heart that I can't remove, the pain they did to me I feel deserved to be revenged on like how Alysha did to me, I feel both my parents and Alysha are just pain-creators of my life, I'm so unlucky in life that they are my parents, I've been suffering since secondary days about money, then they continued that I live a bad life until this old age, it's really stupid how they feel I can work, it proves and shows that doctors don't understand my pain at all, like telling me to work at JOD, it's stupid as fact, I think I'm dead in this life, I became a low-achievement person and I have no success at all, its definitely deadmeat, no girls support me until this date, the sufferings extended until thinking if I will get money, means people shouldn't tell me if giving me money so I dont expect it, because when it didn't happen it becomes heartache instead, it's really bad the conversation flow in my life, no one is caring and take my sufferings as my attitude problem, or problematic person, it's really disappointing how I am almost 1 year of medicine yet my parents don't give me money to survive, the day of talking about money just have to happen, it's really sad it becomes like this, then public, I feel like advertising like this on TikTok, posting this post then $16 for 40k readers to shame own self of having no money, it's really stupid the way my parents treat me.
I don't have the good luck in life, ever since secondary days I always bad luck, I don't feel good about my life at all, I'm so unlucky until I grow up seeing Alysha and hearing what she said, then from that moment until today my parents still don't give me lightness in life, they become angry if ask for money, I don't know if it's doctor blocking it but I'm just unlucky to have doctor that don't understand my pain, they only describe in a manner that is not so real maybe, or in a manner that nobody still believe me, they let me suffer all these years feeling the boiling anger and my mind kepts becoming blank and memory loss, I don't know how many times I got angry and it's really a hot painful temperature from anger, it's really weird how anger gives pain, it's maybe a heart attack, I'm supposed to die maybe from heart attack, so dramatic like not even Wahdiah and Shahridah help me, they let me grow older all alone and don't care that I lose my memory of them, I wonder and hope 1 day I will get a nice girlfriend. Im just growing to 40 years old becoming nothing kind of guy, most probably not taking my O level as I feel like giving up and just ruin myself, if orang gila really masuk syurga then I really want it then, means I will become crazy I think as it's too much and they extending to any maximum limit that makes me feel hard in life.
I'm deadmeat with my parents and adopted family's care, no reason they adopt me and not help me, they didn't tell me the reason why they adopt me too, they all let me suffer in life by doing nothing that eases my life.
Crazy guy meant for crazy girl, means Sakinah, Wahdiah and Shahridah really not meant for me, I need to find a schizophrenic girlfriend that understands me to become my wife I think. It's really stupid this way.
No comments:
Post a Comment