Day 294 out of ward(342 on medications)

Just 71 more days out of ward to be 1 year of freedom from I.M.H and 23 more days to be 1 year on medications. Life is wonderful as the pain is ending, I imagine myself cured at 38 and 29th June as I break the cycle of repetitively going to ward every year. I also have 4 more days for my injection that will last for 4 weeks. This is going to be the end of the cycle of yearly I.M.H ward. Despite my warded life there was no money flow into my life, I'm forever a difficult life journey and expecting the help of counsellor only after almost a year on medications.

I don't know why my bnss counsellor didn't help me about my bad life, I still struggle to live my life and live like a survivor, with schizophrenia it makes things worse for me, people don't pity even with stories of doctor that I will recover at 38 years old, it's so long to go at that time I maybe was a teenager, then they don't mind I have a continued cycle of hot feelings in the body, I wonder why people treat me like that, it's so uncaring and risking me into suicidal thoughts.

Just now I woke up around 7a.m feeling sleepy, hoping it's the medication working because a recovered person becomes sleepy from medicine then they are suddenly cured from schizophrenia, i remember about a video I watch of a person that talks about own life as have schizophrenia.

Yesterday I dreamt of my father giving me 3 caps, me going down ladder 🪜 that's rope, so I needed a glove, I have 3 caps in total so I think it's a new dream. I dream of carrying a baby with my brother, in the dream he planned to marry 2 girls. I think it's finally the end of my cycle of repeated dreams too.