Voices @ Fan

It's usually voices at fan, where there's like wind noise the voices will appear, means if like a blow wind at window, may have voices also, i will thought someone talking to the tone of wind, I remember schizophrenia as something weird to experience, I wonder when others will become schizophrenic too then understand me.

I'm also waiting for my friends to become Wali Allah as that's what doctor said that will happen to them, then I hope they help my love story to happen, hahaha. It's really bad my life experience with love ruined by Alysha like nothing, I even made a gap from meeting each other due to being overprotective of the girls, like split-up as something okay as long as not a break-up, then there's no communication for more than 10 years, it's really sad my life experience, I may get heartache easily due to believing Alysha's lies all over again and it's neverending feeling, I wonder when my life going to be easier like receiving Alysha's penalties and get for Dina her penalty money, I don't see people taking this seriously then I think I need to think of a Lawyer to sue Alysha, then I wonder how much it will be because I don't like how Alysha living a peaceful life, I'm just not satisfied with her experience like even if police appear at her hostel, she is still at peace to study, nothing breaks her energy to finish her university and it's unfair someone like her passing a degree, means I want to drop her education to a normal certificate like A level as something enough already, lol. Then I have 2 years to chase back, but then counsellors maybe not siding me at all, then it looks okay the corruption of how a degree person get a good salary after given chances by neighbours, then didn't pay back anything for so long, I don't think anyone cares as it's been almost 1 year on medication and nobody try to get me a good life back.

It's sad how people just let my life finish just like that. I have 5.5 months to go before my O level, then seeing R everyday maybe during my O level, then it's really sad how my life growth into nothing, thinking 2027 as something studying period, and I didn't study anything in 2026, I think everyone is fine about it and don't really care if I achieve anything at all. It just made me want to leave my parents forever if I become a successful person. It's been too many years to be patient, I wonder what TikTok can do for me like if I will get free counselling from people, I really don't want a life like a laughing stock or became a popularity like naked girls like Nadia Fazlynn, Tammy N.Y.P etc. suddenly no life, I wonder what kind of attention and help I will get if I do the advertisement then play RG477V as my Live stream, it's better than having no life at all I think.

https://www.google.com/search?q=free+counselling+singapore&oq=free+counselling&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgAEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABDIHCAgQABiABDIHCAkQABiABDIHCAoQABiABDIHCAsQABiABDIHCAwQABiABDIHCA0QABiABDIHCA4QABiABNIBCDI1MTVqMGo3qAIUsAIB8QWjOvtAmJhnFg&client=ms-android-vivo-rvo2&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#ebo=0

I searched at google and there's a lot as fact, I wonder which to approach as I think I'm helpless already, as I don't want to beg or ask from ease from this torturous feeling. They all definitely feel I have enough as long as I don't smoke, it's really sad my smoking habits can't be supported and I became a useless man like "nak rokok cari kerje beli sendiri", I really became a bad man in the sense that I can't live easily without a cigarette and feel that my family should support anyway and it's my problem if I short of money to buy cigarette, then I can't lose the negative feelings that "no one will help", it's just too bad for me experiencing a bad life for real. Don't know why it's like this, life can be better but anhedonia + all these really made me feel useless, everytime it's 7p.m I feel like it's already time to sleep then the next day is another cycle of waiting at sofa. I really became someone tak gune, then my family don't help change it by letting me go out saving my money to see the world outside, people probably working then I'm the same useless life. When I think again it's maybe okay because I can focus on medications, then no one cares my goal if like that because I smoke will want more money, I feel demoralized in the past then it's like happening again the lazy feeling to score high in O level, just because no one is supportive. I'm just dead meat my life. Full of wishes and a useless person judged as lazy instead of schizophrenic. It's so bad my life as a poor guy, I'm definitely not getting any girls at all. I'm just dead life with false happiness of fluoxetine.